I will not buy into the culture of anger.

I will not name and shame. I will not mock. There is to much hate in this world and I will not continue to buy in.

I do not know if theses thoughts come from the depth of my grief or from all the nastiness floating up from south of our boarder.

The new way

I will never get to the point where I do not well up. It does not happen every time but it is amazing that a pencil with her name on it can set me off.

A heel, that is life and death.


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Location:Home

The ride to work

The ride into town is getting worse. The TTC is dealing with a bridge repair and it plays havoc with the streetcar. I have to take  jiggly joggily bus for the first 15 minutes and then get to ride the sticky streetcar.
Today there is no nastily verbal old lady berating a man who offered her a seat. If we could have the whole car would have thrown her out.
Just passing St. Joes. The count goes on.

The last week of the first year

One year in one week. I wonder if day 366 makes a magical change to my muddled thinking and broken heart.

The family isn't doing much talking. I think we were talked out about six months ago. We went to our separate corners to try and pull close the pieces of our hearts.

Is it working

Yet another try to get it working

Towards that last thirty days

Moving

We are moving slowly towards a year. Soon I will be counting the last thirty days.
Do you remember the dinner, play, TV show, joke.........?

April will be hard.

Counting

I still count by the days and the weeks, I recognize the hour. Waiting to get to the point that I can count in months and years. 

I have contemplated putting a tracker on this blog to keep the time clearer,  not so fuzzy around the edges. I am not going to do that. It is not that I don't want a constant reminder of what has gone . It is more that I want to ease my thinking and accept our new life.